Living in the Philippines as an Indian isn't easy, but it's worth it!

I've been living in the Philippines with my dad for 15 years, and being Indian here has given me experiences I don't think I'd have understood if I'd grown up somewhere else.

One thing I've noticed is that, compared with other parts of Southeast Asia, Indian culture is relatively rarely visible in the mainstream in the Philippines.

The culture here shows much more visible influence from its Spanish and American history and its close ties with East Asian cultures. Indian restaurants, temples, festivals, clothing, languages and other parts of Indian culture aren't nearly as common here as in other Southeast Asian countries.

Because of that, being Indian has sometimes made me feel out of place, and sadly, I've run into racism and stereotypes over the years.

I've heard Indians casually called 'Bombay' or 'Bumbay,' whether or not they're actually from Mumbai. I've run into the stereotype that every Indian is in '5-6' money lending, and the term itself is sometimes used as if it described an entire ethnic group. There are also stereotypes that Indians are dirty, smelly, unhygienic, poor, scammers, or somehow socially beneath them.

Some remarks go even further and turn deliberately humiliating or sexual: crude jokes about Indian bodies, genitals and sex lives, or portraying Indian men as desperate or sexually unattractive. Those aren't harmless cultural misunderstandings. They're personal attacks wrapped up as jokes.

When you hear that kind of thing over and over as a minor, it can't help but get under your skin.

There were moments when I wondered why I had to defend my identity over something I couldn't control. I didn't choose where my ancestors came from. I didn't choose the stereotypes people had heard about Indians. And I certainly didn't deserve to be treated as a racial punchline.

Then in junior high, I met a Filipino boy who stood up for me when classmates were bullying me, and 13 years later, I'm now engaged to him.

I was really lucky to meet someone like that, but it also took me years to convince his family that India is more than the stereotypes we see on social media.

There's still one problem left, though: my fiancé's relatives still make fun of me when I pray. I'm Hindu and they're Catholic, so I guess Indian religious practice looks taboo and strange to them. I respect that they may have had bad experiences with other Indians, but being accused of 'worshipping devils' crossed a line, and honestly, it hurt.

I still acknowledge what happened. I'm not going to pretend racism doesn't exist just because I've learned to cope with it. And I don't think people who face discrimination should just be told to 'grow up' or 'adapt.'

But I have learned to separate other people's ignorance from my identity. Their prejudice belongs to them. It doesn't belong to me.

After 15 years, the Philippines has become a complicated part of my life. It has problems like racism and ignorance toward minorities, but it has also given me memories, experiences, and above all the love of my life, my fiancé.

I don't want to erase the bad experiences.

I just hope they don't become the whole story.

I've learned to be proud of who I am, even in a place where my culture isn't always welcome.

To me, overcoming discrimination doesn't mean pretending it never happened. It means not letting someone else's ignorance decide how I see myself.

And if there's another thing I'm grateful to this country for, it's that I got to make friends with Africans and other Middle Easterners here in Manila! They respect and like my culture too, so I stick with them! As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Thanks to that, even while living in this country, I finally came to love my own culture and my roots. 🙂