I've heard the 'pusit' (squid) and 'oppusit' joke

The best joke: 'out of stock'

The local government…. Ba dum tss

What does a Filipina bring to a second date? A moving van

There's a Filipino farmer named Raul-Miguel Ramirez who lives nearby. One day I was passing his farm and saw a pig with a wooden leg. So I asked, “Hey Raul-Miguel, what's up with that pig?” Raul-Miguel said it was a very special pig. I wanted to know how special, so I asked Raul-Miguel, “How special?” Raul-Miguel started telling me how his house caught fire while his family was asleep, and this pig banged on the door and squealed at the top of its lungs. It squealed so loudly the family woke up and escaped the inferno. (I'm exaggerating a bit here.... he's a Filipino farmer, he didn't actually say 'inferno.') I was amazed, so I told Raul-Miguel, “That's amazing!” Then he said that's not all... while he was off doing farm work, a little kid fell into a deep well, and this pig jumped into the well and saved the child from certain death. I thought that was incredible, so I told Raul-Miguel, “That's incredible!” This really was a special pig. So I asked Raul-Miguel, “Okay, but why does he have a wooden leg?” Raul-Ruel replied, “With a pig this special, you think we'd eat him all at once?”

'Apir'👋, meaning high five, actually comes from 'up here'