People still seem to miss the part about a man searching for meaning in a society that no longer needs him as provider and protector

I'm raising two boys, and this is something I think about a lot. I try to teach them that they're more than what they can provide, but it's a hard lesson. I've watched so many people define them entirely that way — ‘what are you bringing me,’ ‘what are you doing for me,’ and so on... Even their mom does it. People have mostly learned not to ask women to make them sandwiches, but they missed the part about not asking men to mow their lawn.

Everyone does things. What matters is not letting gender decide whether it's acceptable to do them. The point is to give everyone more opportunities by not boxing ourselves into outdated gender roles.

I think the point here isn't what you can do but why you do it. That's really the deeper motivation underneath male gender roles. Historically, a man's worth has been tied directly to the economic value of his effort. Things that are valuable but harder to put a dollar figure on often became women's roles for exactly that reason. You can really see it when you consider how many ‘women's jobs’ became men's jobs the moment society decided they were worth a lot of money: doctoring, programming, brewing beer. It'd be good to encourage boys to stop tying their economic value directly to their self-worth. Economic value matters for everyone, but self-esteem can and should come from things like making someone smile. Not only is that better for boys' mental health, it also takes pressure off girls to stay away from ‘valuable jobs’ they've historically been bullied out of because ‘a man NEEDS that role.’