Were his promises just empty words?
Hi everyone. I'm a Filipina, and my now-ex, an American man, and I dated for over a year.
He told me he wanted to take full responsibility for me and support me financially. He promised he'd take care of me, and he also said he'd buy me a new phone when he came back. I didn't ask him for a phone, he offered it himself before he went back, which was 6 months ago. I've actually been using my current phone for about 7 years.
Recently we ended up breaking up after I told him I needed glasses for my eyes. Coincidentally, the next day I also showed him that my phone was starting to have problems and looked like it would die soon. Then he told me all I wanted from him was his money. A few days after the breakup he messaged me again and said his salary is upper class and he can take care of me, but he still doesn't.
What hurt me was that he hadn't really been taking care of me for months, and I'd already told him that. I asked when he was actually going to start, because I also needed to know what I could expect from him. I wasn't asking him to buy me everything, but I wanted him to take some initiative, since he was the one who kept promising to take full responsibility for me.
Now I'm wondering whether those promises were sincere or just words said in the moment. I know some people may see this differently, and I'm open to hearing different perspectives.
I'm not trying to make anyone hate him. I'd just appreciate honest and respectful opinions about this. Did I misunderstand what he meant when he promised to take care of me, or is it reasonable for me to feel hurt and confused by what happened?
Honestly, it sounds like the main thing on your mind is his money. I know that's not unusual here… but reading your post… it sounds like you were looking for financial security and maybe even nagging him to provide more of it faster, and he decided to move on. Sorry
Remove the words 'full responsibility' and 'take care of' and replace them with the word 'love'. Then read it again. Now look at his behavior and you have your answer.
Much better to have your own money. Mixing 'sponsorship' with a long-distance relationship is a terrible idea.
Maybe the two things at once, the phone plus the glasses, made it look to him like you were testing him with money. Your intentions were probably fine, but two requests close together, plus what he hears every day on subs and forums like this about guys who got burned. Maybe that pushed him over the edge. And don't take this the wrong way, but we've only heard your side.
Seems already broken. It escalated too much. Sounds like he said it to trap you or convince you not to go with another guy, but we don't know his side.
Made-up story???
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