As a Filipino-Canadian who came back to the Philippines and has a lot of expat friends, here's some advice for foreign guys who are talking to a Filipina online and thinking of flying over to meet her.
As a Filipino-Canadian who came back to the Philippines a decade ago and has a lot of expat friends, here's some advice for foreign guys who are talking to a Filipina online and thinking of flying over to meet her.
Note: 99% of Filipinas are not scammers. But watch out for the 1%.
Look for these red flags before you even buy the ticket:
🚩 'I love you' and marriage talk ridiculously fast.
🚩 She's already calling you her husband before you've met.
🚩 Constant emergencies: rent, hospital bills, sick relatives, tuition, broken phones.
🚩 She drops hints about money: 'I don't know how I'll pay my electric bill…'
🚩 She needs a new phone/laptop so you can 'communicate better.'
🚩 She avoids spontaneous video calls.
🚩 Her stories about work, family, relationships or where she lives keep changing.
🚩 Her social media doesn't match what she tells you.
🚩 She gets jealous or controlling even though you've never met.
🚩 She pressures you to send money, 'help the family' or invest in something.
🚩 You say 'I don't send money to people I haven't met' and suddenly her attitude changes.
My golden rule: you're flying to the Philippines to meet her, not to marry her, rescue her, support her family or fund her life.
99% of Filipinas aren't scammers. Judge the behavior, not the nationality.
It's a lot more than 1%, and on a dating app it's probably at least 90% 🤔
I doubt it's only 1%, because you hear so many stories. And it's not just Filipinas you have to watch out for. There are also plenty of foreigners who go on dating sites and scam Filipinas.
The 'I love you' and marriage talk isn't necessarily a red flag. Be prepared for a Filipina to fall in love very fast if she lives in a small province and has little or no past relationship experience. My fiancée was like that within weeks of us starting to chat. As I got to know her over video calls and met her family, I could understand falling in love fast from her side. I kept things slow by planning a trip for the end of the year and explained I couldn't travel to the Philippines before then. We kept chatting every day for 8 months before I went and met her in person. After meeting her and her family and spending time with them in the Philippines, I had no doubts about her sincerity and genuine love for me. We've now been together for 2.5 years and are engaged. In all that time I've never experienced any of the other red flags listed. Instead, it's been the best relationship of my life.
I decided to move to the Philippines because of what the country itself had to offer me, not because of a woman. I spent a lot of time researching different places and comparing the lifestyle, cost of living, climate, and the kind of life I could build here. Somewhere along the way, I happened to fall in love. Of course, that relationship influenced exactly where in the Philippines I ended up settling, but it wasn't why I chose the Philippines in the first place. By the time I moved, I knew what I was getting into. It was a well-researched, informed decision, and falling in love simply became a wonderful part of the story. My advice to anyone thinking about a move like this is simple: move because you want the experience of living in another country and because the lifestyle makes sense for you. Don't move halfway around the world for a woman. Build a life you'd be happy with on your own, and if love becomes part of it, consider it a blessing, not the foundation of the decision.
Better yet, just understand that a lot of girls around the world aren't really relationship or marriage material, just material. As a 25-year-old American guy in Manila, casual encounters and a roster are far more rewarding than an actual relationship, simply because a lot of these girls just aren't really 'ready' or don't understand how to keep a man. Never give a girl the benefit of the doubt, but always doubt the benefits of the girl.
Decent advice. My question is why people need to be told this. It's really common-sense stuff.
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