Have you noticed how in the province they make the women sit apart from the men?
I'm at a birthday party right now, and only one guy brought his wife. We're all sitting at a big table, drinking and having a good time. But this poor woman is sitting all alone on a chair about 25 feet from our table. She's probably just scrolling Facebook reels. It's been over an hour like this, and I'm guessing she'll be doing it as long as her husband is here.
This is common where I live. But usually there are several women, so at least they can hang out with each other. This poor woman is just sitting there alone while the 20-plus of us guys party over here.
I said something to the guy next to me, hinting that I found it kind of weird and sad… and he just told me, “It's the Philippines,” women sit apart from the men.
Like I said, this is pretty common where I am, but not always. And this is the first time I've seen one woman sitting completely alone. Am I tripping? Or is this weird?
A good friend of mine here, who I consider a real expert on the Philippines (born in the US, served in the military, Filipina mother, and has lived here as a citizen for many years), told me: “Never let other guys talk to your girl. Seriously.” At first I thought that was kind of strict or weird, but after a few months I realized he was right. That's how it works here. Some guys cross boundaries fast. I didn't believe him until I saw it myself. Lesson learned.
Because women get judged by others for drinking with men... Who wants to be known as the one who drinks with other women's husbands, or be a single girl with that reputation? The neighborhood gossips (chismosas) would love that.
If you run with the...? Try a different (better?) crowd. My relatives in the province eat, drink, and celebrate all together, neighbors and everyone. The Ginebra gang gets its own short table off to the side to pickle their livers. The guys who only drink a few sit with their girlfriends or wives and the rest of the group, 10 meters away. Choose wisely and life is nicer. Good luck 🍀
Welcome to a world where cultures with different values exist.
Men and women naturally split into same-sex groups at almost every gathering. Nothing odd about that at all. As for the lone woman at your birthday party, the most likely reason is that she's suspicious of her husband and won't let him out of her sight, especially when he's drinking. She isn't there to socialize. She's there to keep an eye on her husband.
There's a bad but somewhat true trope that in this country women do all the work at celebrations while their husbands just drink. That might be why they tend to sit separately. I guess if it's part of how they divide things up (like the man paying all the bills), it's not that bad
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