He ended our relationship and I don't know what to do now. This grief has left me completely broken and lost

I (32F) met a man from Florida (33M) on a dating app five months ago. I'd lost hope of finding anyone, but once we matched and started talking, everything flowed so easily and naturally. We both decided to delete our dating accounts and keep talking on WhatsApp. We video-called and voice-called quite a few times, and it was such a thrilling, lovely feeling. A few weeks later he suddenly told me he'd bought a plane ticket to come see me in the Philippines. I took two weeks off work to spend time with him. I didn't know where it would lead, but when I picked him up at the airport and we got to our Airbnb, it felt like magic — as if I'd known him for a long time. In those moments I felt every good feeling in the world all at once. We exchanged gifts too.

We decided to travel outside Manila, and it was magical being on the plane together, holding hands, comforting each other while listening to songs we'd discovered we both loved. I found out he has bipolar disorder because I saw his medication and asked. I also found out he uses nicotine pouches and vapes, which he hadn't mentioned before we met. And I found out he didn't have a job but was receiving VA (US veterans' affairs) benefits. I still accepted all of it because I loved him so much; at the time, being with him felt amazing. He was struggling with his mental health, and maybe the reality of our relationship finally sank in, or maybe he missed his family back in the US. I know I'm not perfect either — I have depression, anxiety and PTSD — so I know he had a hard time dealing with me too, and I felt bad about that. Still, we accepted each other and worked through the relationship together

One week became two, and then he extended for another month, which didn't happen, because after a month he had to go back to the US. We couldn't find his medication here, and if he doesn't take it, the VA will cut his benefits. I really did my best to solve that problem with him here, but there wasn't much I could do, and in the end he bought a ticket home. I went back to Manila. We parted ways, and it was one of the most painful goodbyes of my life. I still haven't gotten over it. I came home and just sat alone, trying to process everything that had happened. I cried thinking about how much farther apart we'd be now. He promised he'd come back, and he planned to bring me to the US to close the distance.

We did long distance for almost two months. In the first month he was still excited and in love with me and said he'd keep his promise to come back. I was full of hope that I'd finally see him again. I was very patient, loving and supportive toward him. I'd never felt love this deep, even in my past relationships. In the last few weeks I noticed a change in his messages and in the way he talked on our video calls. I had a feeling something was off. Then, on an ordinary Thursday a week ago, he sent me a message saying he'd realized he couldn't support our relationship financially — flights are very expensive, so are Airbnbs, a K1 visa would cost even more, and he has no house and no job, just his VA benefits — and that it wasn't right of him to keep me waiting like that. I'd thought everything was fine. He told me I should look for someone else. He was also becoming more depressed and anxious about the whole long-distance situation. We talked about it on a two-hour call and we both cried. We decided to keep in touch. But then he said he couldn't take it anymore, because even if we kept talking he couldn't really have me, so what was the point. And that if I ever found a new man, it would crush him. I completely understand what he said, but in those moments I didn't know how to accept that reality. Then suddenly his replies got fewer and fewer, and when I reached out I found he'd blocked me everywhere, even on the game app he loved to play. I sent one last message to his email. And I told myself: if someone has already closed the door on me, I shouldn't beg them to open it again. That person has already decided I'm no longer welcome. Even in our last messages we both said how deeply we loved each other. We even promised forever and always, and yet here we are. It feels horrible to have been that high and now be this low. I feel like I'm in a void where no one can hear me. I love him so much. It's so painful when someone suddenly gives up on you and there's nothing you can do but move forward. This grief hurts so much I can't even function. Part of me wishes he'd come back and we'd be happy again, but I know that's unlikely ever to happen. Right now I'm letting myself grieve and feel all this pain. It's the most painful heartbreak I've ever gone through. I know our relationship wasn't even a year old, but the impact he had on me was so huge that his leaving destroyed my soul. Honestly, I don't think I can heal; I think I'll just have to live with this wound forever. I keep wondering whether he'll miss me, whether he'll still remember me years from now, whether he'll suddenly find someone new who lives closer to him. It's such a painful ending

I need advice or any suggestions on what to do now. This grief hurts so much I literally can't move; my body has shut down. Or has anyone else gone through something similar? Whatever you'd like to say about my experience, I'm open to hearing what others think

TL;DR: I met my love on a dating app, he flew here to visit me, and we lived together for a month. He had to go back to the US. We had to do long distance, and he promised to come back and close the distance. I thought everything was fine, but one ordinary Thursday he gave up and told me to find someone better because he has no job and only benefits. He told me I'd made a mistake and should live my life. It hurts so deeply when you both love each other so much and one of you gives up. I'm broken and lost right now

I don't know why I'm posting this in this sub, but I'm curious whether any foreigners have gone through something similar, or what advice you can give me