My experience in the Philippines has changed over the years
(Short version: the Philippines used to be the best place in the world for dating, for me, and now it isn't. But please read to the end — there's real content here.) Back when I was visiting the Philippines almost every year from 2013 to 2020, there was no doubt in my mind that it was the best place in the world to find a lovely girlfriend, at least for me. In 2019, Big Ed showed up on the TV show 90 Day Fiancé — a 4'11" man with no neck. He dated a slim young woman half his age. She wasn't exactly kind, but the secret was out, and at least 10 million people saw his story. Meanwhile, dozens of expats were making videos about how great life in the Philippines is. They pretty much have no choice. Legally, there are topics they have to avoid, and socially, the backlash from Filipino netizens is always intense if something that questions national pride gets seen by enough people.
Yes, tourist arrivals in the Philippines never bounced back after the pandemic. But how many men just came and never left? Remote work changed people's lives, and for a lot of men the Philippines felt like the easiest country to move to. For men who speak English, the language barrier isn't an issue either.
And how many of the tourists who used to come just for a trip to El Nido or Boracay are now coming to find love? There are no official stats, but my guess is the ratio is several times higher now.
This isn't just a hunch. I made four trips to the Philippines in 2026, which brings me to eight trips in total and more than three years spent in the country altogether.
I travelled all over the Philippines specifically to find a girlfriend, visiting the best places I know — the cities foreigners dislike and the ones they like. When I first lived in Cebu for two months there were 5,000 expats. Now, in 2026, there are 15,000 expats in Cebu. I've been to more than 100 places in the Philippines, cities and islands included.
Vietnam, Indonesia, even Thailand can be cheaper for some things. But those countries have a bigger language barrier. If you can learn Indonesian like I did, you'll get treated better in your dealings than in the Philippines, especially when it comes to rent.
As for dating, I simply haven't found anyone I'd marry, or even anyone I'd be excited to date medium-term. I did date several women, some stayed with me, and one was even willing to be a supportive girlfriend, but something was always missing. It's as if the best women are already taken, or just distracted, or their attitudes have shifted with the culture. Demure, subtle, humble — Filipino women are no longer the world leader. Brash, rude, disrespectful toward men — that's more common than it used to be.
I'm not saying there are no great catches. I bet there are! And some guys probably live with or near a wonderful woman who makes them happy.
I'm just saying the Philippines used to be the best in the world for me, and now it isn't.
Sometimes, if every attempt keeps turning up problem women, it means the real problem is you.
It's hard to type this without it sounding like a jab. To be clear, I don't mean anything personal, but even if you're an older guy or a bit out of shape, with a little effort you can find a slim, young, pretty Filipina. There's nothing really wrong with that. Some people will get mad about the age gap (god forbid she's over 18, right?). Frankly, I don't really care. If you're a younger guy, say 25 to 30, you'll find a fantastic whatever-you-want here. Is it still one of the best places in the world to date? I'd say yes. Are there more people here now? Also yes. But if you're even slightly above average as an expat, you'll just stand out by default. I lived here for four years. Most expats are horribly out of shape, balding, or can't even stand up straight, so it's not like the 15,000 expats in Cebu are taking all the great Filipino women. They really aren't. It's a city of over a million people. If you skip the dating apps and just meet people normally, you'll naturally have your pick.
Find one good woman and stay with her. That'll solve most of your problems. Whatever her ethnicity.
I married a Filipina in the US a while ago and we just moved here. My daughter and I might be the only white people around, and I'm fine with that. I told my wife that if I'd been single in my mid-20s it would have been so easy to find someone. I honestly don't understand these posts. If you just want a girlfriend, maybe go to clubs and bars; if you're serious, be serious. I met my wife through a friend of mine — they broke up and we didn't.
Yeah bro, I think it's just women everywhere. A lot of them are entitled and delusional. They're also oblivious to reality, including the fact that plenty of foreigners are broke and poor.
I think social media is to blame for a lot of these problems.
Are you saying the quality of Filipinas has declined? Or that there's so much competition now that supply is limited?
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