Here's the situation. I'm a Filipino woman in a long-distance relationship with a foreign man. We've been dating for a few months, and we talk every day by message and video call.
Before ending a call that day, he asked what time I would be home from church. I said around 7 PM my time, which was 6 AM for him. Since I knew it was his day off, I told him it was fine to rest, because he usually wakes up at 4 or 5 AM.
That afternoon I was going to have dinner at my brother's house, and I sent him a message saying I would text him when I got home. I got home around 8 PM, but there was no reply. By 9 PM I was really worried that something had happened. I sent several messages and waited for an answer, and I fell asleep while waiting.
When I woke up, his reply was there: "Hey babe, just woke up. Currently taking a crap."
I know he was sleeping, and I know he had no obligation to stay awake and wait for me. That isn't what upset me. Before the call ended he said he would do something and didn't, and after that I was worried for hours with no contact. Seeing that reply made my worry feel unimportant.
We argued about it, and for the last two days I've been trying to explain. I wasn't angry that he was sleeping, and I didn't want him to sacrifice his rest for me. I was hurt because I felt he didn't care how worried I had been. He kept saying I was making a big deal out of nothing.
In the end we broke up. He was supposed to visit me next month, but he has since said he got a refund on the plane ticket.
So I genuinely want to ask: if you had said you would do something for your girlfriend on the other side of the world, didn't do it, and she worried because she couldn't reach you, how would you respond to her? Do you think his reaction was reasonable, or can you understand why I was hurt?
Girl, as a woman, I'm telling you this is not a problem at all. The problem is you. He told you it was okay to rest, and he had his own schedule too. He just rested. Sleeping in for a few hours isn't a relationship crime. And he woke up exactly one hour after you got home. What exactly is the problem? It's not like you missed a plan. You didn't miss a virtual date or an event. He just slept in on an ordinary day. You should look into your own attachment issues. You might be anxious-type.
If it was a big deal for her, then I'd apologize and move on. But if you broke up over this, it sounds like other things had been piling up before that.
This is why long-distance relationships don't work. Just a waste of time.
Please stop posting this desperate, socially clueless nonsense on this sub. What does this have to do with foreigners living in the Philippines??? It has nothing to do with cultural differences either. You're a strange person. Even talking on the phone 24 hours a day isn't a real relationship in long distance. And that guy is lucky the relationship ended. He can probably go there and endlessly ㅈㅈ (omitted) without your drama. So, plans can change. Let's be honest, you didn't worry about anything. This kind of thing happens millions of times. You just wanted to control him, and you got angry because he wasn't online when you wanted him to be. But that's too crazy to admit, so you convinced yourself it was worry. Worry about what? That he's sleeping? The police won't do anything until 24 hours have passed. If you were that worried, why didn't you call the police or an ambulance? Just shut up. That guy was also foolish for getting pulled into this lonely, desperate online nonsense instead of improving himself, but he's lucky it ended. And instead of clinging to online "relationships" that last for years, go out and do something and build your career. There's an LDR sub for people like you. Don't post this garbage here, it's not related.
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