Do American men living in the Philippines avoid each other?
I'm American and have been married to a Filipino woman for almost 14 years, and I've lived in the Philippines for four years now.
When I'm in an elevator here with another American guy, or we pass each other briefly, we hardly talk. I mean hardly at all. Even when I think we've recognized that we're both American, we don't really make eye contact.
Have other Americans living here noticed this too?
The reason I'm curious is that when my wife and I are in the US, especially in San Francisco, things go completely differently when she meets other Filipinos. The moment she recognizes someone as Filipino, they start asking personal questions right away, like:
Are you Filipino?
Is this your husband?
Where do you live?
How many kids do you have?
How long have you been married?
Where do you work?
What are you going to do while you're here?
It just goes on and on.
But here, when I'm in an elevator with another American...
Crickets. 🦗
I'm curious about this difference. Is it a cultural thing? Because people value privacy? Is there something unique about Americans living abroad? Or is my experience different from yours?
How have you felt about this, and why do you think it happens? Thanks in advance!
When I talk with Western people here, it's usually pleasant. Still, I'm from New York City, so I wouldn't try to hit on someone in an elevator just because they're white. There's an unspoken sense that we're both white Westerners, and because of that shared trait, there's a bit of awkwardness about feeling like we should or shouldn't do something. There are plenty of white guys here who don't want to get involved because of political views or personal habits. Just being white doesn't break down that kind of wall. So in the elevator, I get off on my floor and go about my business.
Not me. I have a Southern accent, so when I'm in the Philippines, Americans pick up on it and get excited, saying I look familiar. Maybe the accent helps.
I don't judge whole groups, only individual encounters. But the types of American men I tend to avoid are: 1.) Veterans whose whole life is their military service 2.) Americans whose whole life is politics 3.) Old sugar daddies with very young wives
The world has changed, friend. Twenty-five years ago, Americans anywhere in the world would talk to you like an old friend they just met. Social media killed that. Everyone who wants to talk to me is already on my online friends list, so there's no reason to talk to an "outsider" anymore. I recently spent a few weeks in Poland, where people love talking to strangers, and it reminded me of the old days..
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