I gave it a shot, but I just can't accept the idea of living here for good.
This started as a comment on a recent post, but I want to ask if anyone else feels the way I do.
I came here last June to marry my Filipina fiancée and to stay long enough to figure out whether I wanted to retire here. My wife and I met in another country and fell in love. She went back to the Philippines in 2023 and I followed her last year. I'd been here a few times before, but only for short visits to see her, since I was still working and saving in that other country. Then last year my job suddenly ended. I'd planned to stay another couple of years and save more, but life is like a box of chocolates, right?
Anyway, I have a decent retirement income. Enough to live like two kings here. But in Arizona, where I want to live eventually, it's probably lower middle class. I have my own land there and plan to put a modular home on it when I get there. It won't be a life of luxury, but it'll be on my terms, in a place where I already know how things work. We've only just started the CR-1 visa process. I really hope it gets approved. I know it'll take time and I'm ready for that. What I'm not ready for is living here forever. I thought I might like retiring here, but alas, I just can't accept the idea of settling here permanently. The crumbling infrastructure, the lack of decent food and dairy, the absolute horror show that is the traffic, and the painfully obvious fact that most Filipinos are content with mediocre are more than I can handle. The other day I spent 35 minutes in an appliance store just to buy a $25 coffee maker. At first I thought business owners didn't care about customer satisfaction. Now I figure maybe they do, maybe they don't. What they care about more is stopping employee theft. Making everything a hassle is how they stop theft, so the customer and their feelings can go to hell. Employees have zero incentive to make customers happy, so customer service simply doesn't exist.
I'm trying to keep busy in the meantime. I signed up for a certification course with my wife to fill my time and keep my mind working, and we've met some great people. But at the end of the day, I'm just spinning my wheels, waiting for the day I see this place in my rearview mirror.
It's satisfying to deny the naysayers the chance to tell me, “If you don't like it here, just leave!” I've seen that line so many times it makes me want to throw up. But guess what, I really do plan to leave as soon as I can. And if the visa process drags on too long, we're thinking of moving somewhere else in Southeast Asia to wait it out. If her visa gets denied at the end of it all, we'll deal with it and find a place to settle. But it won't be the Philippines.
Those of you saying I won't find a better country where both my Filipina wife and I can live are too narrow-minded to bother debating.
Honestly, living lower middle class in a modular home somewhere in Arizona sounds like a worse life to me lol
Reading the replies is painful. The Philippines just isn't for this person. Why is everyone so touchy? Are they looking for validation of their own life choices? Life in the Philippines comes with trade-offs. You have to put up with inconveniences you wouldn't face in the States, but for some people the lifestyle, the people, the cheap housing and so on are worth it. I read OP's post and thought, “Makes sense, the Philippines isn't for you. Hope your wife's visa comes through soon so you can start your life together in the States.” Why isn't that most people's attitude here? Why be so negative?
It's not a place for the weak.
If you're stuck in Southeast Asia, look at Malaysia or Thailand as alternatives. Malaysia has great infrastructure and people speak English. Both have straightforward retirement options if you have the money.
I wonder how your wife really feels. She'd probably be happy to live in your country, but I wonder if bashing the Philippines is hurting her. Maybe she's ready to leave too. But for a lot of Filipinos, complaining about the Philippines themselves is one thing, and hearing it from a foreigner (even one they love) is something else entirely. As for me, I live by the sea in a fishing village, with the mountains close by. My wife loves me and I get along well with her family. The community has accepted me, and it's a comfortable but simple life. I go for walks most mornings and evenings and take part in my kids' activities. Give me all of the above and I'd be happy anywhere in the world, including here in my adopted home, the Philippines. You're right that the service is bad, but I don't have much to do, and how often do you buy a coffee maker anyway? 😀
Haha, I can relate to the appliance store thing. I bought a cheap little handheld fan at SM. What a long process! Like four employees involved. Good grief, just take my money lol.
I couldn't do it. My story is similar to yours. My wife and I met while we were both working abroad for the same company. She left before I did. A few times a year I'd go to the Philippines and stay in a furnished condo for a month at a time on vacation. I seriously thought about living there and even looked into long-term places... but I just couldn't. I was 45 and she was 33, and we both had plenty of earning years ahead. And what about our future kids? What kind of future would they have in the Philippines? She immigrated to the US and life has been good. P.S. Her family is upper middle class by Filipino standards, so we haven't had to support them beyond one balikbayan box a year... and the box isn't full of money 😀
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