Anyone else get the impression that 90% of the women here are single moms? That's exactly the impression I had when I first came here a few years ago. But after looking into it a bit, it's nowhere near that high.
According to WHO data, there are about 14 million single mothers in the Philippines. That works out to roughly 1 in 4 Filipino women being a single mom. Still a huge number, though.
The reason it can feel like 90% of the women here are single moms is that the moment you get on a dating app, most of the women there seem to be real single moms, and a lot of them are specifically looking for a foreign partner. I think it's because they've been burned by Filipino men (it's a pattern that keeps coming up whenever I talk with women about their past relationships). I thought "90% are single moms" too, but once I started meeting people outside of dating apps, that impression went away.
I also think it's worth saying a few words about why they become single moms, and why roughly 1 in 4 is a single parent. As you probably know, there's no divorce here. When a relationship goes bad, sometimes the moment a baby comes, Filipino men take no responsibility and just leave and disappear. It's very common. Child support exists only on paper, with nobody actually enforcing it, and a lot of women don't even ask for it, either out of pride or to avoid conflict. That's the culture here. Abortion is completely illegal, and the Catholic Church actively fights against contraception and sex education, so you get statistics like 500 teenage girls giving birth every day in this country. Just recently, in 2024, more than half of the babies born in the Philippines were born to unmarried parents. That's one of the direct results of having no divorce law. Put all of this together and it's a "perfect storm," and I think it makes it easier to understand why so many women are raising kids alone.
Of course, a lot of these single moms probably made some bad choices in their lives. That doesn't mean the system isn't to blame. I believe it is. It's the system that failed these women, along with Filipino partners who can walk away or disappear far too easily.
I wish more foreigners knew this.
The Filipino single moms I know are incredibly strong people. They work double shifts to raise their kids and support their families, some at call centers, some at small shops. I've also met senior managers and executives who earn a lot of money.
If I could offer one suggestion: if you want to date in the Philippines, focus more on who the woman in front of you is, how she behaves, and how she treats you. Try to look at those things, rather than just looking at the fact that she's a single mom.
I married a single mom from Bicol and gained a wife and a daughter. We've been together for 11 years, and my daughter has grown into a fine young woman who is truly my daughter. Being a father is decided by actions, not biology. I'm a happy husband and dad.
I'm called a single mom because I'm a widow, not because my marriage fell apart! My late husband was my first boyfriend, and since he died I've been supporting my kids on my own. It's not easy, but I'm doing my best to be both mother and father to them. We single moms have been through all kinds of hardship, so we're stronger when it comes to the challenges of life and love.
As a solo parent myself, I agree that people should look beyond a woman's status as a single mom. But I also wish people would stop assuming that every single mom is disappointed in Filipino men and looking for a foreign partner. Some of us aren't looking to be rescued. We work, we provide for our kids, and we carry responsibilities that were supposed to be shared. We don't necessarily want another relationship. Sometimes we just want the children's father to do his duty. And being a single mom doesn't automatically mean she made bad choices. Sometimes the real test of a man's character is whether he keeps showing up for his children after the relationship ends, when there's no partner left to impress. Yes, women are responsible for their own choices too. But children shouldn't suffer just because their parents' relationship didn't work out. A woman's relationship status doesn't determine her worth, and a man's freedom to leave doesn't free him from fatherhood.
Be careful when dating a single mom. There's no divorce in the Philippines, so legally she's still a married woman. Her ex-husband could drag you to court and it could cost a lot of money.
Comments 0
Please log into write a comment.