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Bedridden expat – looking for assisted living

Does anyone know an assisted living facility that's good for foreigners? We've been taking care of him for three years. We'd like to keep caring for him at home, but the problem is he can't be nice to his caregivers or our helper. He's really stubborn. It should be near Metro Manila so we can visit every weekend, and please tell us the price if you know it. I looked into Rain Tree, but they don't answer our messages or tell us the price. He's 77 and American.

Does anyone still celebrate Halloween? I'm curious about other people's experiences. We're throwing a party, and friends and family seem excited even though it's not really a thing here.

Edit: OK, I assumed it wasn't a big deal here because the Halloween section at SM has like 20 items.

Second question: is it more common in Luzon than in the Visayas?

How many of you genuinely love Filipino culture, and why?

I'm not just talking about the women. I mean anything and everything else, whether it's family events, outlook on life, food and traditions, karaoke, even religion. What do you like about the culture here?

It feels like all I ever see among expats in the Philippines is complaining. I haven't spent enough time in the Philippines to really understand the culture yet, but I've lived abroad in places whose culture I truly loved for all sorts of reasons, like Mexico.

🥀

Has anyone ordered anything from AliExpress? How long did it take to get your stuff?

What's Boracay like?

My girlfriend and I are thinking of moving to Boracay in December for 1 to 3 months, maybe longer. We found a place to rent up north, near Diniwid Beach or whatever it's called.

What's it like there? We're pretty laid-back. Will it get boring? Any info at all is appreciated.

We've been traveling for about the last year and want to slow down a bit. The Philippines is a good option for us for visa and tax reasons.

My Filipina girlfriend can't open a bank account

My girlfriend applied to open an account at BDO but was rejected because she doesn't have any proof of income. She's in grad school and is about to finish a contract/temp job as a substitute teacher, where she's paid in cash.

I'm confused, because when I look online it seems there are basic accounts that only need something like a photo ID. Maybe it's culture shock since I'm American, but it's still wild to me that you'd need anything beyond an ID, an SSN (Social Security number) and a pulse to open a basic savings account to put money in.

I'm trying to get this done for her so that 1. she has a place to keep money where her family won't suck it all up right away, and 2. she can build and document modest savings before applying for a US tourist visa, hopefully sometime next year. I know the interview can be very thorough; she'll need to document nearly every part of her life and her relationship with me to get approved, and I doubt they'd approve anyone without even a bank account.

She's from a small provincial town where most people don't have bank accounts, so unfortunately she's just as green at this as I am. I'd appreciate any advice on how best to help her get set up with an account.

Which ATMs are best for withdrawals? I haven't needed to use one in a while.

Can my girlfriend come back to the US on a tourist visa after her J1?

Just like the title says. My girlfriend has been in the States for five years, and her J1 visa ends soon. I don't believe in marriage; it is what it is. We talked about me flying her back to the States twice a year. How likely is it that she gets approved for a tourist visa, and what are the rules? Thanks

Advice needed – overstay

Hi. I'm the partner of a US citizen who came here in 2024 to be with me; we've been together since 2022. I make good money as an engineer, so since I could cover our living costs, we decided he'd move here and find remote work. (He sold everything he had and moved here.)

Fast forward: after being told we had zero chance of having a baby, I got pregnant, and things kind of went downhill from there (don't get me wrong, we love our baby to death!). Being pregnant made me really sick. My job is actually fairly easy for me and my company is very lenient, so I never had to stop working; I'd work a few hours from home and call it a day. But because he was the one taking care of me, it became hard for him to look for work (I have no family nearby; it's really just the two of us). Then I gave birth, and he's been a truly good father, taking on all the exhausting work of caring for me and our baby. I never even had to get up or ask him for anything. Then, the same year, I was sadly diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Basically, my genes mutated in a bad way. I'm more symptomatic than most, and he's been caring for me while also being our child's main caregiver. It's no exaggeration to say things have been hectic with all the back-and-forth hospital stays, and we didn't even have the bandwidth to think about visa renewal. I'm still working and have good benefits (my company even got him health insurance as my domestic partner).

Now he's been overstaying for a year, and we're trying to plan how to sort everything out bit by bit, since most of our money goes to my healthcare and our child's needs. So I'd like to know, even roughly, how much it would cost to settle everything. He was on a tourist visa, and from 2024 until late 2025 we kept extending it and paying the fees, before everything got out of hand.

Also, if we settle everything, will he still be able to stay and keep extending? Or will they make him go back to the States? :( That's my fear. I don't want him to be detained either, and I'll do whatever it takes to clear his record.

🇮🇪🇵🇭 Seph's Philippine Musings 🇵🇭🇮🇪

🌴 Field Notes Written in Paradise 🌴

🎤 Episode 3: The Great Filipino Karaoke Experiment 🎤

10:47 p.m. A dog barks, a child cheers, and someone three houses down is singing 'My Way' as if submitting evidence in a twenty-year-old trial.

The speaker crackles.

The mic squeals.

One neighbor shouts encouragement.

Another stares silently into the dark, wondering whether sleep is still legally allowed.

You never asked for a concert.

You never bought a ticket.

You may not have even left the house.

Doesn't matter.

Karaoke comes to you.

In Ireland, karaoke usually takes a pub, a mic, a few drinks and one fella convinced he's the second coming of Van Morrison.

Here in the Philippines, a whole neighborhood can turn into a concert hall before you have time to shut the window.

No ticket.

No invitation.

No escape.

Just sit, open a window and wait.

Sooner or later, somewhere in the distance, a mic crackles to life.

And then...

It begins.

After extensive research into Filipino rice consumption, jeepney transport and the mysterious science of 'malapit lang' (it's just nearby), I've decided to investigate another phenomenon that has thoroughly baffled the Irish scientific community.

Karaoke.

Someone is singing. Someone is shouting encouragement. A child is dancing. A dog is rethinking its relationship with humanity. Somewhere, a neighbor stares at the ceiling, wondering if there's a law against singing the same song seventeen times.

There is no escape.

You're having a quiet afternoon, minding your own business and pondering the mysteries of existence, when suddenly someone starts singing 'My Way' with the emotion of a person giving final testimony before the Supreme Court.

And you know what?

They mean every word.

Both hands on the mic. Eyes closed. Head tilted back. The entire history of heartbreak delivered through a speaker that sounds like it was built inside a tin can.

And the neighbors are listening, like it or not.

That's one of the great rules of karaoke: talent is optional.

Confidence is mandatory.

Sing beautifully, terribly or somewhere between a dying rooster and a broken car alarm. It makes no difference. Hold the mic and you have the stage; have the stage and you have an audience, even if it's three kids, a sleeping grandmother and a dog hiding under the table.

This is democracy in its purest musical form. Everyone gets a turn, a say, and the chance to discover that their favorite song is apparently everyone else's favorite too.

Of course, karaoke varies. Some are lively neighborhood gatherings, some happen in family homes or private rooms, and some are quiet, tidy affairs where everyone waits politely for their turn. There's no single Filipino karaoke experience, just many ways to enjoy a song.

But one song deserves special mention.

'My Way.'

Frank Sinatra's immortal anthem of personal independence, now apparently the favorite of everyone who's ever picked up a mic after a few drinks.

Having watched enough performances in my imagination, I've concluded this song is no longer about Sinatra.

It's about the singer: their struggles, sacrifices, victories, questionable decisions, ex, current partner, possibly the neighbor's partner, and whatever happened in 1998 that they still haven't quite gotten over.

By the final chorus, they're not singing anymore.

They're testifying.

And when the mic gets passed to someone else, that's when it gets interesting.

Because karaoke has an unwritten constitution.

Nobody sings just once.

You may have come to listen, to enjoy a quiet coffee, or even to sleep. None of that matters.

Someone will point at you.

"Sing!"

You politely decline.

"Oh, come on!"

You decline again.

"Just one song!"

Next thing you know, you're holding a mic, staring at a screen full of lyrics, wondering how your life led to this moment.

Then the music starts.

Now, as an Irishman, I feel a certain cultural responsibility here.

We have our own musical traditions: ballads about love, loss, rebellion, drinking, fighting, emigration and the general misfortune of being Irish. We have songs that make grown men cry into their Guinness and get whole pubs singing together.

So maybe Filipino karaoke shouldn't surprise me.

We Irish have been doing the same thing for centuries.

Just with fewer electrical appliances.

And the more I listen, the more I realize that beneath the questionable singing, distorted speakers, dramatic gestures and occasional musical assault on the human ear, something truly wonderful is happening.

Karaoke is about participation.

It's about having fun without worrying about being perfect, laughing together, giving someone their moment in the spotlight, and being ridiculous in public without the world ending.

Somewhere along the way, many of us got too worried about looking foolish. We worry about what people think, about making mistakes, about being judged.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Philippines, someone who can't carry a tune is standing before the whole neighborhood belting out Celine Dion like their life depends on it.

And they're having the time of their life.

Maybe they've figured it out.

There are limits, of course. Midnight isn't the ideal time for a forty-minute power ballad medley. And if your karaoke machine is louder than a departing plane, maybe your neighbors deserve a little consideration.

Even paradise needs a volume knob.

But I have to admit something.

There's a certain warmth in hearing people laugh, sing and enjoy themselves, even when the singer sounds like a goat meeting electricity for the first time.

Sometimes happiness comes through a cheap mic, a plastic chair, a bottle of soda and a speaker that's lost half its original sound quality.

And sometimes it comes at 10:47 p.m. when you're trying to sleep.

That's the karaoke experience.

A moment when a living room, private room or neighborhood gathering becomes a stage, where confidence sometimes beats ability, and where everyone gets a turn.

So maybe that's the real karaoke experiment.

Not whether everyone can sing or whether the speakers survive, but whether, for one song, everyone is willing to step up, take the mic and give the people around them a piece of themselves.

And if you don't know any Air Supply, you're considered a party pooper.

Then again...

If I hear 'My Way' one more time tonight, I may have to sing 'The Fields of Athenry' just to restore the international balance of musical suffering.

Because in karaoke, everyone gets a turn.

And tonight, it seems, so do I.

🇮🇪🎤🇵🇭😂

Seph's Philippine Musings

An Irishman doing completely unqualified anthropological research into Filipino life, one mic, one shaky high note and one neighborhood concert at a time.

Seph 🇮🇪☘️🇵🇭

#SephsPhilippinePonderings #Philippines #LifeInThePhilippines #FilipinoKaraoke #Videoke #PinoyHumor #FilipinoCulture #IrishmanInThePhilippines #MyWay #KaraokeLife #NeighbourhoodLife #FieldNotesFromParadise #IrishHumor #MusicAndLife 🇮🇪🇵🇭

The three things that annoy me most about living in Davao/PH

I've been in Davao City for two months now, and these things happen almost every time I go out to do anything... I can't help getting annoyed.

1. The need to cut in front of others. A lady was standing in line ahead of me at SM with one item... then right as it was almost her turn, her daughter came through with a cart, and I mean a seriously packed cart, pushing everyone out of the way. They swapped places and the older lady went off to the pharmacy.

And for some reason, whenever you get off a bus or ferry, people from rows way behind you magically end up passing everyone to the very front, which makes it harder for everyone to get off.

2. When talking with some Filipinos, they sometimes leave out key information and then look at you like you're stupid for not knowing lol. Then they tell you that bit of information only after you've been made to look like a fool. My question is, why can't they just say everything that needs to be said from the start, so I don't have to stand there looking like a fool?

3. If you're dating or married to a Filipina that others also find attractive, be ready to be treated differently than when you're alone.

People are seriously jealous, and it goes both ways. Women aim their hate at my wife, and Filipino men give me the cold shoulder, probably because they think they should be in my place. It's really weird. It's just funny to me that other people think they'd be a better match for what my wife or I have.

Other than that, life in Davao has been great. I wish those things didn't happen so often, but it is what it is. I don't expect anything to change. It's all just unnecessary rude behavior.

What makes this condo worth $1 million?

I'm looking into retiring to the Philippines from the UK.
I know there are more than 20 typhoons a year.

Does Palawan get hit by as many?

A little passive-aggressive fun...

Okay. Hear me out.

Keep these two tabs open when you're around your Filipina.

Every time her phone makes these sounds, you hit a button and your phone makes the same sound...

https://www.myinstants.com/en/instant/fahhh-42300/

https://www.myinstants.com/en/instant/chipmunk-laugh-62540/

This is by no means a fix for the madness, but for me it's resulted in:

1. She spends way less time on social media when we're relaxing at home.

2. Her phone volume is now very low overall.

Let me know if anyone here tries this.

I'd like to hear your results...

I do NOT want to live in the West. My freedom has been taken and I'm forced to live in Germany.

I've been to the Philippines (the 'pines) eight times. Big cities, mid-sized cities, tourist spots, the province surrounded by coconut trees. I'm married to a Filipina.

But every time, I have to go back to Germany. People here are miserable. All we do is work, eat and sleep, and repeat until we're 70. No hospitality, no friendliness, no joy. The weather is terrible and life is expensive. It's just not worth it.

So why not just move to the Philippines? Money. I work as much as I can and save and invest as much as I can. Right now I could have about 35k pesos a month without running out of money. That's not enough. I need at least double that.

I'm craving Boom Chicken. It was so much good when I went and ate there with a friend instead of getting delivery, but it's a tough place to go alone..

GOOD DAY!! Everyone, and THANK YOU!!
Thank you all for the advice on my last post about buying a condo! The prices were all over the place: some ridiculously high quotes and a few really decent ones. Reading everyone's reviews and feedback helped me a ton.

In the end, the PRA (Philippine Retirement Authority) told me: ‘Under this scheme, converting the visa deposit into an active investment is not recommended, since the deposit is only USD [amount]. However, you can still buy a condo unit using other funds.’

So right now my best option looks like taking out a loan from a bank in my home country. No way I'm going with a local one.

He ended our relationship and I don't know what to do now. This grief has left me completely broken and lost

I (32F) met a man from Florida (33M) on a dating app five months ago. I'd lost hope of finding anyone, but once we matched and started talking, everything flowed so easily and naturally. We both decided to delete our dating accounts and keep talking on WhatsApp. We video-called and voice-called quite a few times, and it was such a thrilling, lovely feeling. A few weeks later he suddenly told me he'd bought a plane ticket to come see me in the Philippines. I took two weeks off work to spend time with him. I didn't know where it would lead, but when I picked him up at the airport and we got to our Airbnb, it felt like magic — as if I'd known him for a long time. In those moments I felt every good feeling in the world all at once. We exchanged gifts too.

We decided to travel outside Manila, and it was magical being on the plane together, holding hands, comforting each other while listening to songs we'd discovered we both loved. I found out he has bipolar disorder because I saw his medication and asked. I also found out he uses nicotine pouches and vapes, which he hadn't mentioned before we met. And I found out he didn't have a job but was receiving VA (US veterans' affairs) benefits. I still accepted all of it because I loved him so much; at the time, being with him felt amazing. He was struggling with his mental health, and maybe the reality of our relationship finally sank in, or maybe he missed his family back in the US. I know I'm not perfect either — I have depression, anxiety and PTSD — so I know he had a hard time dealing with me too, and I felt bad about that. Still, we accepted each other and worked through the relationship together

One week became two, and then he extended for another month, which didn't happen, because after a month he had to go back to the US. We couldn't find his medication here, and if he doesn't take it, the VA will cut his benefits. I really did my best to solve that problem with him here, but there wasn't much I could do, and in the end he bought a ticket home. I went back to Manila. We parted ways, and it was one of the most painful goodbyes of my life. I still haven't gotten over it. I came home and just sat alone, trying to process everything that had happened. I cried thinking about how much farther apart we'd be now. He promised he'd come back, and he planned to bring me to the US to close the distance.

We did long distance for almost two months. In the first month he was still excited and in love with me and said he'd keep his promise to come back. I was full of hope that I'd finally see him again. I was very patient, loving and supportive toward him. I'd never felt love this deep, even in my past relationships. In the last few weeks I noticed a change in his messages and in the way he talked on our video calls. I had a feeling something was off. Then, on an ordinary Thursday a week ago, he sent me a message saying he'd realized he couldn't support our relationship financially — flights are very expensive, so are Airbnbs, a K1 visa would cost even more, and he has no house and no job, just his VA benefits — and that it wasn't right of him to keep me waiting like that. I'd thought everything was fine. He told me I should look for someone else. He was also becoming more depressed and anxious about the whole long-distance situation. We talked about it on a two-hour call and we both cried. We decided to keep in touch. But then he said he couldn't take it anymore, because even if we kept talking he couldn't really have me, so what was the point. And that if I ever found a new man, it would crush him. I completely understand what he said, but in those moments I didn't know how to accept that reality. Then suddenly his replies got fewer and fewer, and when I reached out I found he'd blocked me everywhere, even on the game app he loved to play. I sent one last message to his email. And I told myself: if someone has already closed the door on me, I shouldn't beg them to open it again. That person has already decided I'm no longer welcome. Even in our last messages we both said how deeply we loved each other. We even promised forever and always, and yet here we are. It feels horrible to have been that high and now be this low. I feel like I'm in a void where no one can hear me. I love him so much. It's so painful when someone suddenly gives up on you and there's nothing you can do but move forward. This grief hurts so much I can't even function. Part of me wishes he'd come back and we'd be happy again, but I know that's unlikely ever to happen. Right now I'm letting myself grieve and feel all this pain. It's the most painful heartbreak I've ever gone through. I know our relationship wasn't even a year old, but the impact he had on me was so huge that his leaving destroyed my soul. Honestly, I don't think I can heal; I think I'll just have to live with this wound forever. I keep wondering whether he'll miss me, whether he'll still remember me years from now, whether he'll suddenly find someone new who lives closer to him. It's such a painful ending

I need advice or any suggestions on what to do now. This grief hurts so much I literally can't move; my body has shut down. Or has anyone else gone through something similar? Whatever you'd like to say about my experience, I'm open to hearing what others think

TL;DR: I met my love on a dating app, he flew here to visit me, and we lived together for a month. He had to go back to the US. We had to do long distance, and he promised to come back and close the distance. I thought everything was fine, but one ordinary Thursday he gave up and told me to find someone better because he has no job and only benefits. He told me I'd made a mistake and should live my life. It hurts so deeply when you both love each other so much and one of you gives up. I'm broken and lost right now

I don't know why I'm posting this in this sub, but I'm curious whether any foreigners have gone through something similar, or what advice you can give me

What's life like in Bogo City, Cebu?

Hi everyone! 😊

I'm from Europe and my wife is from Manila. We're both working here in Spain right now, and I'm seriously considering buying a lot in Bogo City, Cebu and hopefully moving there for good next year. I'd really love to hear from locals or people who've lived in Bogo for a long time.

We don't know much about Bogo yet, so I'm really curious what everyday life is actually like. Here's what I'm wondering about.

Natural disasters: How is Bogo when it comes to typhoons, flooding, earthquakes and landslides? Which areas are more vulnerable? How was it hit by the recent big typhoons and earthquakes?

Cost of living: Realistically, how much should I budget per month for food, electricity, water, internet, transport, groceries and so on? Is it clearly cheaper than living in a big city?

Buying land: Is Bogo a good place to buy a lot for a future home? Are there areas to avoid because of flooding, bad roads, unstable ground or other issues? What should I check carefully before buying property there?

Healthcare: Are there decent hospitals, clinics, dentists and pharmacies nearby? How far would I have to go for more serious treatment?

Internet and utilities: Is the internet reliable? What about electricity and water supply? Are brownouts or water interruptions common?

Transport: Is it easy to get around without a car? How easy is it to use tricycles, multicabs, buses and other transport? Would someone living there permanently really need their own vehicle?

Language/dialect: My wife grew up in the city and unfortunately doesn't speak Cebuano/Bisaya. 😅 How hard would it be to live there speaking only Filipino and English? Are people generally comfortable speaking Filipino or English?

Community and people: What are the people and neighborhoods like? Is Bogo generally quiet and peaceful? Is it easy for newcomers to make friends and fit into the community?

Daily necessities: Are there enough supermarkets, markets, hardware stores, restaurants, banks, ATMs, pharmacies and other basic services?

Schools and family life: If anyone here has kids, how are the schools and the overall environment for raising a family?

Weather: Apart from typhoons, what's the weather like through the year? Is it extremely hot or humid compared with other parts of Cebu?

Safety: How safe is Bogo overall? Are there particular areas or situations newcomers should watch out for?

Work/business: How practical would it be to run a small business or work remotely from Bogo?

Accessibility: How hard is it to get from Bogo to Cebu City, the airport or other major areas? How long does it usually take?

Most of all, what do you wish you'd known before moving to Bogo or buying property there? What are the pros and cons of living there long-term?

I'd really appreciate honest answers, good or bad. I'm trying to research as much as I can before making a big decision. 😊

Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to share their experience!