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Any expats here living full-time on a tourist visa?

Have you ever been blocked by immigration when re-entering, or heard of anyone who was?

By the way, I'm in this category myself. I travel a lot and use the PH as a base. I just checked my eGov app and this is my 9th entry this year lol.

60% Filipinos, 30% foreigners who live in the Philippines less than half the year or are in long-distance relationships and so on, 10% expats

I think it's time to rename this subreddit 'Filipinos with too much time on their hands playing pretend'.

My aunt's new dog looks like Bob Ross

When I was here earlier this year (April), I went through the whole photo submission thing for the background check on my waiver extension. To get another 29-day waiver extension this trip, do I have to go through the same photo hoops again?

Some of you got called out by that post, and it shows

That post dragging the scammed expats on here is basically a bunch of you getting a taste of your own medicine. It's making the rounds on social media and it's hilarious. I get that times are tough and scammers are everywhere, especially with the political climate, but if you were unpleasant to begin with, you can't go to Southeast Asia expecting honesty. Take a good look at who you are now, your intentions and your standards, and ask whether you'd even want yourself as a partner. If the ego is still there, think about how you'd feel seeing your daughter with someone who looks and acts like you.

To the expats who do have good, healthy relationships, congratulations. At least some people are happy!

Do what you were trained to do

A problem between foreigners in Manila

I met a French man around my condo who seemed fun. He'd spent over 30 years in the Philippines and was 60. I recently moved to the Philippines and I'm 40. By race I'm a Punjabi Pakistani born and raised in Oman, I've traveled and lived in several countries, and I work as a data scientist.

I used to joke around with this French man casually and offer him my seat, saying he's older.

Then one day he started getting offensive, and got offensive with me directly. I have very thick skin, so I put up with him because of his age, but I held my ground.

I'm not sure if this was racism, or if he was genuinely offended by a man 20 years younger than him.

I'd like to hear different perspectives on this.

Has anyone here lived and rented in an expensive country?

It feels like most of the foreigners I talk to here have never rented in their whole lives. They call everything expensive, even 500 dollars a month, or 600 to 700.

I'm baffled that they think that's shocking rent.

Just got this notification from my credit card company. I need to have a talk with my husband.

Do you all approach people directly, or use dating apps?

I met the most beautiful girlfriend I've ever had by approaching her. I feel like a lot of guys here don't have the confidence, or even the looks, to approach.

I emailed FBU.Manila@ssa.gov with the following question. We've received our son's CRBA and passport. I know they need the original CRBA, the passport, and my passport, but I'm trying to confirm whether the SS-5 is the right form and which address to send the documents/form to.

But that email address sends back an automatic reply saying they can't answer anything related to xxxx, including SSA.

Does anyone know which email address to actually use, and/or whether the SS-5 form is right and where to send it?

Shower Puff Zombie

Why do so many foreigners here have no family?

Or why are they dating someone their granddaughter's or daughter's age?

A guide to indirect communication for Western expats in the Philippines

Coming from a Western country where people tend to speak fairly directly, it took me a while to adjust. I had to learn that what someone means isn't always exactly what they say.

Once I started paying more attention to the idea of indirect communication and to what was left unsaid, a lot of conversations started making much more sense.

Here's how I see indirect communication.

In the Philippines, a lot of people speak indirectly. A simple question can be a way to learn about you, test you, or ask for something without saying it outright.

That doesn't mean every question has a hidden motive. Just pay attention to what a question or statement reveals, or might imply.

“Where are you from?”
→ How much does he probably earn? Is he from a rich country?

“What do you do for work?”
→ How much does he probably earn?

“Where do you live?”
→ How much does he probably spend, and where?

“How much is your rent?”
→ How much can he afford each month?

“Do you live alone?”
→ Is he single? Does he have privacy? Can someone come over?

“How long are you staying?”
→ Is he a tourist, or someone settling down here?

“Do you have a girlfriend?”
→ Is he available?

“Have you been married before?”
→ Is he divorced? Lonely? Still supporting an ex?

“Do you have kids?”
→ Who is he already supporting? Where does his money go?

“Why did you come to the Philippines?”
→ What is he looking for? A cheaper life? A girlfriend? A wife? Did he just get divorced?

Be careful with this one. Some guys answer by revealing every weak spot they have.

“My divorce destroyed me.”

“I was lonely.”

“Women back home are all like this and that.”

“I want a traditional woman.”

Now someone you just met knows exactly what you want.

Compliments work the same way

“You're so handsome.”
→ How much does praise sway him? Is he easy to manipulate?

“You look so young.”
→ Does he like being flattered? Is he easy to manipulate?

“You're different from other foreigners.”
→ Does feeling special make him trust faster?

“You're such a good man.”
→ Does praise make him more willing to help?

“You're so generous.”
→ Will he keep spending?

The compliment may be sincere. That's not the point. Your reaction tells the other person what works on you.

Requests can be indirect too

“My phone broke.”
→ Will he offer to buy a new one?

“My mom is sick.”
→ Will he offer to help with medicine or hospital bills?

“My electric bill is due tomorrow.”
→ Will he offer money?

“I haven't eaten yet.”
→ Will he offer to buy food?

“My birthday is next week.”
→ Will he remember? Will he buy something?

“I really want that phone.”
→ Will he offer to buy it?

Nobody has to say “Give me money.”

Sometimes putting the problem in front of you is the request itself. That doesn't mean the problem is fake. Indirect communication isn't the same as lying.

“No” can be indirect too

“Next time.”
→ Usually means no.

“Maybe.”
→ Usually means probably not.

“We'll see.”
→ Don't take it as a yes.

“I'll try.”
→ Usually means I probably can't.

“It's okay.”
→ Usually means I'm upset but don't want to fight.

“Up to you.”
→ Usually means I have a preference and want you to guess it.

“It's a bit expensive.”
→ Usually means it's way too expensive.

Family talk can carry another message

“My family wants to meet you.”
→ How serious is he?

“My family likes you.”
→ He's becoming part of the family.

“Family is really important to me.”
→ If this gets serious, the family may become part of his life too, money included.

The main lesson is simple.

Listen for what people say or ask without saying it outright.

Ask yourself:

What did this question just tell them about me?

How much do they now think I earn, have or spend?

Are they asking for something without asking directly?

Are they saying no without saying no?

Are they testing how I react to praise, money, guilt or pressure?

You don't need to become paranoid. Sometimes a question is just a question. A compliment can be sincere. A sick parent can really be sick. Just learn to hear the message behind the words and weigh what the bigger picture might be.

He must really be attractive

How can I bring my cat with me when I move away from the USA for good?

Have you ever had a Filipina tell you she's separated, and later found out she's actually still married? Honestly, this confused the heck out of me. I kept thinking, 'Why would she lie about that?'

I spent some time properly researching it, because it always baffled me how the Philippines ended up on the same list as Vatican City on this. ..

Then I figured out how things work here. When a Filipina says she's 'separated', she usually means she and her husband live apart. That's it. No paperwork, no legal process. She's still legally married under Philippine law. If she marries a foreigner without sorting that out first, she's technically committing bigamy, and the foreigner is committing adultery under Article 333, whether he knows it or not. That's 2 to 6 years in jail if her husband files, which is pretty rare for a bunch of reasons. Honestly, that scared me. You could end up in prison even if all you wanted was to get married with pure intentions!

As most of you know, there are legitimate paths, but they cost a small fortune. An annulment runs 180,000 to 500,000 pesos (I've heard of cases over 1 million pesos) and 2 to 5 years of court proceedings. How many of you are ready for years in court while a bunch of people analyze why your marriage failed? The cost alone isn't realistic for most Filipinas, and even when a foreigner offers to cover it, many refuse, because they see better uses for that money, like a business, school fees, a sari-sari store and so on.

The more interesting and useful path for a lot of couples is recognition of a foreign divorce. Under Republic v. Manalo (2018), if she was previously married to a foreigner who got a valid divorce abroad, that divorce can be recognized here through a court petition, freeing her to remarry. It's much cheaper, faster and clearer than an annulment.

I also keep seeing a kind of 'third solution' to this mess: lots of couples just marry abroad and never resolve the Philippine status. It works until visa applications, inheritance, or the kids' legal status turn it into a big problem later.

Tar Drop Experiment (Real-time)

How do you all handle being treated like a mini celebrity in the Philippines?

It happens to me all the time. People are pretty curious about me, and since I come from a respectable family and I'm fortunate, when they talk to me they're surprised at how well educated I am.

What's a good health insurance to have if I decide to move back to the Philippines?

The healthcare system is the only thing that stops me from thinking about moving back to the Philippines when I retire. But if I do go back, what's a good health plan to have? Is it better to sign up now, or when I decide to move back?