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I've gone to the Philippines six times for my girlfriend, but we've met only once in two years. Am I wasting my time

I'm posting this because I've been dealing with this situation for a while and I genuinely want some outside opinions.

I'm 27 and she's 23. We met on Tinder in 2024 and have been talking for about two years. In that time I've gone to the Philippines six times, but we've met in person only once. Even when we finally met, she wouldn't let me hug or even touch her.

I've been staying in the Philippines since May, and we haven't seen each other once this whole time. She gives me a date to meet, but as the day gets close something always comes up and she cancels. And somehow, when I question it, things get turned around as if I'm the one who did something wrong.

Our communication has gotten really bad too. Sometimes she suddenly disappears or barely talks. I once reached out to her cousin just to understand what was going on, but whenever I do, she immediately contacts me and tells me not to message her family.

Over the past two years I've also helped her financially with tuition, rent, flowers and other expenses. I did it because I cared about her and thought we were building a real relationship.

But now I'm questioning everything. I've crossed the world several times, I'm literally in the Philippines right now, and somehow we still can't meet. After two years I still barely know her family, and I don't feel like I'm part of her life.

I know relationships, especially long-distance ones, can be complicated. But I'm starting to wonder if I've been ignoring obvious red flags because I wanted this to work.

I'm curious what others think. Does this sound like someone who really wants a relationship, or does it sound like I'm being used and wasting my time?

Got a deal on 30 cans of Les Café for 9,000 won. That's 300 won each, or 13.5 pesos.

It was originally 9,900 won, but got a 900 won member discount. Total 9,000 won. I keep them in the freezer and grab one for coffee time whenever I'm craving a snack or need a sugar boost.

Heads-up for everyone in the Philippines. If your internet has been sluggish since yesterday, especially if you've set a custom DNS to Cloudflare or are using your ISP's default DNS, it's probably the issue below.

I noticed the degraded stats on my pfSense box. I switched both to Google DNS, 8.8.8.8 as primary and 8.8.4.4 as secondary, and it's been perfectly fine since.

Falling asleep mid-meal is insane but relatable

Do foreign wives really leave their American husbands that often?

Ketamine Worth PHP 20.7 Million Disguised as 'Ceramic Fan' Intercepted at Clark Port — Cargo Originating from Amsterdam

📌 On Tuesday, October 6, the Bureau of Customs (BOC) Port of Clark announced that it intercepted approximately 4 kg of suspected ketamine with an estimated street value of PHP 20.7 million hidden inside a shipment from Amsterdam, Netherlands, in coordination with the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA). The shipment was declared as a 'compact ceramic fan' and was consigned to Valenzuela City, Metro Manila. The interception was first reported on Friday, October 2.

■ Incident Details
· The shipment, originating from Amsterdam and bound for Valenzuela City, arrived at Clark Port declared as a 'Compact Ceramic Fan'.
· During routine clearance procedures, X-ray Inspection Project (XIP) scanning revealed suspicious images, prompting a physical inspection that yielded white crystalline substances packed in 7 transparent plastic sachets.
· Initial tests using a Raman spectrometer yielded positive results for ketamine, commonly known as 'Special K'.

■ Investigation and Current Status
· The reported weight varies across reports—the initial report on October 2 stated approximately 4,410g, while the BOC announcement on October 6 stated approximately 4,140g. Both reports estimated the street value at around PHP 20.7 million.
· Samples have been sent to the PDEA laboratory for chemical analysis.
· The operation was conducted jointly by the BOC Port of Clark, PDEA, the Clark Inter-Agency Anti-Illegal Drug Task Force (CRK-IATFAID), the BOC Customs Anti-Illegal Drug Task Force, and the Intelligence and Investigation Service. No arrests have been reported yet.
· District Collector Jairus S. Reyes of the Port of Clark commended the vigilance of the personnel and inter-agency cooperation.

■ Notice to Residents and Travelers
· Cargo arriving at Clark Port undergoes X-ray screening. Shipments containing items different from what was declared are immediately subjected to physical inspection.
· Refuse requests from strangers or online acquaintances asking you to receive international packages under your name and address. Shipments containing drugs can make the recipient the subject of a criminal investigation.
· If you receive a notification regarding the arrival of an international shipment you did not order, do not accept it and verify with customs.

■ Sources
The Voice Newsweekly (10/2, 10/6), SunStar (10/6), Bureau of Customs Philippines (10/6)

I found an Italian deer

"Sure, you can have one"

Singer performing the Canadian national anthem forgets both the lyrics and the tune

Renewing a UK passport online... easy or not?

Anyone done it recently?

Does anyone personally know someone who's been deported?

If so, is it true you get locked up in a horrible, overcrowded, prison-like room?

What happens if you get arrested by the Bureau of Immigration

With the viral arrest of Dr. Patrick Ndukwuegbulam Obison after a shouting match with a local woman at a mall in Angeles City, I thought it'd be a good time to talk about what rights foreigners have when detained by the Bureau of Immigration (BI).

On paper:

The Supreme Court has ruled that foreigners do have a right to due process in deportation cases. In Qua Chee Gan v. Deportation Board (G.R. No. L-10280, September 30, 1963), the Court held that a foreigner must be told the charges, given time to prepare a defense, and allowed to be heard, either personally or through a lawyer. The BI's Board of Commissioners has to give you that hearing before issuing a deportation order. That's due process.

In real life:

Once you're arrested, you rot in the 'Manila Hilton.' The BI detention facility in Bicutan was built to hold a little over 100 people. In 2023, then-Commissioner Norman Tansingco said it was holding 276.

Foreigners charged with a crime can get bail just like Filipinos. But BI detention isn't a criminal case, so that right doesn't apply. In Harvey v. Defensor-Santiago (G.R. No. 82544, June 28, 1988), the Supreme Court ruled that deportation is an administrative process, not a criminal one, and that bail is at the Commissioner's discretion, not a right. That means foreigners can rot in detention for months waiting for their hearing. Meanwhile, if you stop paying rent, your landlord can come after you and your belongings for what you owe. Honestly, I get cranky after just a few hours without air con, so that alone is reason enough for me to behave.

The 'undesirable alien' rule gives the BI very broad discretion to remove a foreigner. So even if you put up a defense that would win in any court, the BI doesn't need a criminal conviction. If they decide they'd rather not have you around, that meets the legal bar for removal.

If the BI ever issued a mission order against me, I'd probably ask for voluntary departure rather than sit in Bicutan. Just know that it usually still means getting blacklisted. If you have strong ties here, I strongly recommend hiring a competent immigration lawyer. Fees vary a lot, so get quotes from a few. Even with a good lawyer, don't expect your case to be resolved quickly.

The part that stings is that if this had been between two Filipinos, it would have just ended at a barangay hall settlement with an apology and maybe a small sum of money changing hands. Unfortunately for Mr. Obison, even if he eventually wins his case, he'll wish he'd never gotten into that argument.

I just had my first experience of healthcare in the Philippines. I went to a dermatologist at a private hospital to check a suspicious mole behind one ear. She took a biopsy sample on the spot, and a week later removed it by laser, again with no waiting. No complaints about the service, and the problem was sorted in a week.
I paid 27,000 pesos in total. Does that sound about right, or did I get ripped off?

Respect

There's been a lot of talk lately about foreigners not respecting Filipinos.
This goes both ways.
Today I went to a 7-Eleven to buy some drinks. The store had a few tables and about ten teenagers (they looked around 13 or 14).
A boy in my aisle said 'hey bro.' I'm 60, and Filipinos are supposed to have great respect for their elders. So I simply said, 'I'm not your bro, you can call me Mister or Sir.' He said nothing.
Then a girl I couldn't see yelled out 'Sir, buy me food' (these kids were all well dressed, not street kids), and I ignored her.
Then as I walked out of the aisle, one of the girls was standing there and said 'hi daddy.'
So I told her that's short for sugar daddy, and that I'm not her sugar daddy or anyone else's. Which meant she was calling herself a prostitute.
Everyone looked shocked.
Then I said, why do you think it's okay to say whatever you want to a stranger just because he's a foreigner?
And I followed up with, what would your parents think about what you're doing?
Of course, once they were called out, it was all silence.
I shook it off and enjoyed the rest of my day. Most of my interactions with Filipinos are positive, but it feels like a double standard is forming. The foreigner always has to be respectful, while for Filipinos it's optional.
I'm tired of this kind of behavior, which happens far too often.

19M, making friends my own age

This is my second time in Manila (born in the US, not Filipino). I originally came just to get work done by my tattoo artist, but I remembered how much I loved the Philippines and everything it has to offer, so I'm planning to stay a while again.

The thing is, I'm kind of lost on how to make friends my age. Don't get me wrong, I have tons of friends who are older than me, mostly 25 to 30 year olds from Manila. But I'm 19, turning 20 in a few weeks, and I barely have any friends my own age. I get that college might keep people here busy most of the day, but is there any way I could make some friends my age?

For some background, I don't drink anymore, so I'm not really into the party scene. I usually work out, but with my new tattoos I have to take a few weeks off the gym.

I'm guessing I won't get much advice since there aren't many 19-year-old foreigners in the Philippines, but any and all advice is appreciated :)

A classic prank

This bird is mad at you for some reason